Monday, January 4, 2010

Questioning Whether A Mission is Worthwhile

Monday, January 4, 2010 3:35 AM

This week was quite the week for me.  I have done some stupid things, but I think I've learned a lot.  I mean, learn from your mistakes right?  At least, I hope I'm learning.  Sometimes with all the talks I read such as "The Fourth Missionary" I wonder how useful it is to be on a mission.  I mean, it's hard to be exactly obedient and I haven't been good at it, I try to improve all the time and I feel like every transfer I get a little better, but I still just am so far from perfectly obedient, and it's hard because it says in that talk if you aren't perfectly obedient and have charity, your mission doesn't change you at all and it was pretty worthless.  Then I feel pretty crappy and wonder if I'll ever be the 4th missionary and my mission will be worth it at all.  I hope so, but right now I'm still figuring it all out. I kind of wish I hadn't read that talk.  It kind of upset me.  I wonder why. It doesn't sound like a false doctrine concept.  I guess it's just one hard to swallow, because it's not hard to come on a mission and come home in vain.  In fact, I can't promise I won't.  But, I'm trying to not. 

This week all I can really remember is that we had a temple tour sisters training.  It was really good.  Last time we had one was 2 transfers ago, and although I liked it, I felt like I'd never be at a point where my Chinese was good enough to give a tour like the tour sisters did it.  So, it made me really scared in some ways to watch how amazing they were.  But I had a hope and I really learned to appreciate what those sisters do there in the Taipei chapel.  This time, I didn't have a hopeless feeling at all.  I understood the whole conference (it was completely bilingual, as one of the trainers were speaking English, and the next one would switch off and speak Chinese, they both stuck to their native language) and I'm pretty sure I can mirror them in what they taught.  I was glad for the training and really think I learned how to ask some good solid questions to people who come in to take the tour.

Training was Thurday, and we actually had tours ourselves Tuesday.  A really interesting girl came in and asked us to pray for her.  We offered to take her on a tour.  About 5 minutes in, Sister Ackerson stopped the tour.  The girl would say REALLY strange things to everything we asked and the Spirit as completely not there.  We actually said a prayer with her, since that was her original request.  We got her information and expected her to leave, but she wouldn't.  She started telling us stories that made NO sense.  She was going crazy out of her mind.  All I really got is she got extremely jealous at a boyfriend in America, and got deported back to Taiwan since her boyfriend didn't want to get married or something.  She said she was baptized years ago, but didn't really believe our church was the only true church, but she did say a million times that it's all black and white with the Mormons.  She wouldn't leaven for about an hour and a half, and just told us stories that made no sense.  We felt really uncomfortable, but we were nice the whole time.  It just made me feel so bad for her.  This girl, who was clearly not right in her mind, and she was hurt.  Not sure if she was originally crazy, or her situation drove her literally crazy but I felt so bad for her.  I wished I could help her, but there was nothing I could do except get her information and pass her onto the people who serve in her area.  I was glad to know that Heavenly Father gave her an opportunity to at least come to the truth to feel the good feelings in the chapel, even if it as just for a few minutes.  She wrote some crazy things in her Book of Mormon about how she just wouldn't take the fruit like Eve and stay foolish forever, and then we said we had to go to dinner, and we all left.  Wow.  a mission is full of lots of interesting experience.

As for Danshui news, this week my companion and I have seen a lot of miracles.  Members have given us referrals, people let us in doors tracking, and an investigator who was too busy to meet with before has been reading the Book of Mormon, and read in Alma that she needed to be baptized, so she wants to meet in an hour and know what she can do to prepare for baptism.  Further proof that the Book of Mormon really really really is true.  It really teaches us the principles and fullness of Jesus Christ's complete gospel.  People can find answers on how to obtain happiness in this life, and return to Heavenly Father's presence in the next.  The Book of Mormon is amazing!  I love it so much and I know that it is true.

I love you guys!  Write again next time.

Sister Flora Bruno.

No comments: